One more night skipping sleep...I get out of my bed and make myself a coffee...My heart feelz lonely!I get myself dressed and go walking at the beach!What moments ago was the moon,iz now disappearing,giving place to the beautiful rising sun.Even the sea seems to whisper you name to me!Sun is finaly rising...Shinning so bright in the sky,it has your sparkling and stunning beauty...Walking in the sand,I leave footprints.Sitting in the sand,i write your beautiful name in it,inside a big heart.The winds gently blows,i can almost feel your breathe on my skin.I shed a tear.A tear of joy for being alive to love you,a tear of loneliness for not having you by my side,a tear of sadness for the distance between us!I remember so suddenly...how ten years ago,i blindly fell in love with you!So crazy,i know!On a stormy night,I saw you for the first time,i fell in love with you,by the candle light!In my craziest and wildest dreams,i somehow always feel we are meant to belong to each other!Today,after 10 years,i love you even more and more...i sit in a corner of my bedroom,looking at your photo,my heart beats fast,my dreams run wild.My emotions speak louder again!Would i ever be able to hide this feeling?Would i ever be able to hide this love?No,I don't want to.I would never be able to do it.Sitted in a corned of my bedroom,I am listening to your songs...Oh,your beautiful voice again,soothing my troubled and rebel soul!I shed a tear of love and tenderly smile.Your beautiful voice again healing my heart!Memories come back so suddenly to my mind,of such a distant time,where I had to choose between you and my family!But what a great freedom has my choice given me,back then,when i chose you!Getting rid of a violent and racist mum,and choosing to love you!It's true that,then, i left behind so much pain,and finaly would start a new chapter of my existence!I saw you in eveything i would do,and today i still do.You kept me going on.You gave me strenght,you gave me that peace i was so much searching for!And all this,you did,even though you were not present here,by my side!This is your true power!Yes,i faced fear,i faced pain,i faced loneliness...so many hardships...But if you ever ask me why i did this,and if i would do it again...My answer to you is:"I did it for the love i feel for you!And yes,If i had to go back...I would have made exactly the same choice.I would always choose to love you,regardless of what i might be able to lose in my life!".Today,i walk my own path alone...But better alone than with certain kind of people near me.However,not everything is fear,pain and tears.You are my perpetual smile,even when i cry.You are my strenght and voice when my heart is wounded,and i can't speak out!You are my courage,when i am feeling weak.You are my inspiration to keep moving forward and fight for my dreams!It's amazing the way a human being can inspire another,without even be near...Even in this distance,you saved me from others...and even from myself!You inspired me to use my talents.Nowadays,i'm writting rap lyrics and playing various musical instruments.I don't simply exist,I live,thanks to you!I am just another fan among all the hundreds of fans you have.I do understand that,eventualy,it is difficult to tell the difference between me and all the others,as we all say we love you.I do understand you might think i am just another crazy fan girl.But let's just put aside the fact of you being a singer,dancer or being with w-inds:What do girls will see?Lots go for fame...lots go for looks...lots go just for your sense of humour...lots go for you,because...they just feel like it!Well,ask me and i will tell you!I see YOU.Not the singer,not the famous funny guy,not the cheeky,hyper,mischievous cute boy...Not the rapper,not the dancer...I see YOU in a whole as a man you realy are.I recognize your amazing talents and cheer for you,i support you in every feeling and decision you might make,and i fight with all my strenght to get to grant your wish of being recognized on an international level,as you deserve.I see YOU,as a human being,as you are,not a star...It's good to be a star and get recognition for it,but true love doesn't come through fame.True love is when we know we would that person until our last breath,regardles of what she/he could be or become.Love is not status.Love doesn't know races,languages,circumstances,whatever...Love just happens,and when it does,it's in his purest form of understanding,and acceptance.I love you,not because you are a w-inds. member,but because you are YOURSELF.I see the spiritual,sweet,sensitive and caring Ryuichi,not the famous singer,dance and rapper Ryuichi.I look in your eyes,and i feel there's' so much more to you than we all can just actualy see!It's true that you are blessed with talent and such a beauty which i have never seen before my eyes,but your real and true beauty is realy inside you,the one i can also feel and see.You are beauty in your essence.What more can i tell you,to convince you that my love for you is more than just fan love...?I just don't want to be repeating words that you've been listening from others for so long time...You know,it's difficult to open our hearts to someone genuinely without beeing misunderstood sometimes...And this is the first time i am realy opening my heart to someone,in 30 years of my life!And now!Now you know me!You got me on Twitter!!!!And favourited one of my tweets!Something i thought to be impossible!Now,i do believe in miracles!Nothing happens for no reason.I still believe this didn't happen without a reason,even though we are still so distant from each other.Even though there is that distance,my love for you was always there,is always ther,and will always be there!And this is me for you!Loving you is the easiest thing in the world...But living without you,is the hardest!Still my dream,and my love survive.Still my heart beats fast everytime i think of you...Even in the middle of chaos,with you,I've learned there is still tomorrow!Your eyes tell me never to give up.And i don't.I live for you and for me!I live for this love,until my last breath...I love you so much...more than anyone will ever know!
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